My heart began to pound widely and I was suddenly sweating despite the functioning air conditioning system. But I tried to be calm.
I realized my next actions would determine if I still had a job.
“After all, Mr Sulaimon hadn’t said anything.
It could just be me misinterpreting his looks.” I said to myself.

I stared at her for a long time with my coyest smile in a bid to break her cool. But even that didn’t ruffle the serenity of her expression or if it did, she showed no outward sign.
I shook my head. She didn’t know me.
Emi, ekun(lion), okunrin meta fun ra e.(3 men in one)
Since my youth, I had always had a weakness for a tiny waist, flared hips and a good backside.
Tracy checked all three. She even had a fine face to top it all.
“She was already mine” I thought to myself, savouring the thought.

“Tracy, you can sit down” I heard him say.
I sat down quietly.
The chair creaked a little.
I saw him try to hide a chuckle. He failed miserably.
I looked up inquiringly, I was suddenly eager to leave his office as my calmness started evaporating.
“Well, you are not a child and I am clearly not a child as you can see” he said rubbing his bald head and simultaneously stroking his beards that had streaks of white hair in them.
He still held that evil gaze. I listened on with a look of disinterest on my face.
“See, Tracy, I run the affairs here. I can decide to triple your money while you do no work. Infact, I want you to be my personal assistant from now on…
All I want in return is for you to show me some love”
He got up and advanced towards me.
I was stunned.
The nerves…
Without thinking, my elbow connected with his cheeks and he cried out in pain.
I ran out of the office, went to my desk, packed my things and went home.

“Chai, you be mugu, see mad offer!!!! You for take am” Nana said angrily, shaking her head at me disgustingly.
I stared at her in disbelief.
I had just told my two best friends my ordeal at the office.
Nellie tapped my shoulders, and said,
“See, I have a plan…”
After Nellie finished narrating her plan, we all rolled on our bellies in hysterics.
“But how do we go about it?” I asked.
“Don’t worry” they both said in unison.
“Just get me his address and leave the rest to us” Nellie added.
The following day at work, I was unusually excited.
Dayo noticed and asked, “Was the meeting with the director that nice?”
“You no get sense” I fired back at him as I turned away.

For two months, the director didn’t come to the office. I had my peace.
Rumours had it that on his way to the office, some hoodlums had waylaid him, given him a beating of his life and even broken some ribs.
My two best friends were the best.
Evil? Totally.
But they were too good.

On a fateful Monday morning, I was on my desk typing when Dayo approached me.
“What do you want?”I asked, irritated.
He was a pest in my life and unfortunately I couldn’t escape him. Our job descriptions were similar.
“The director is back and he wants you in his office. Now.”
He winked and walked to his own desk.
I stood, transfixed.
“Oh my God, maybe he knew I was the one that caused his attack” I thought.

There was a soft knock on my door.
My baby was here!
“Come in”
Tracy came in and bowed politely.
“Welcome back sir” she said.
Despite the pain racking through my body, I smiled.
These past months had been tough but tolerable for me because I always imagined Tracy above me, doing sweet things to my old, weak body.
I studied her face.
Was it just me or she seemed apprehensive?
I cleared my throat.
“I know the last time we spoke, you hit me.
But I’ve forgiven you.”
“My offer is still on”
“I’ll take good care of you” I said in my most sincere tone.

The look on his face would have been funny if I wasn’t so angry.
Mr Sulaimon was an unrepentant perverted old man.
“And to think I had just gotten this job”, I thought sadly.
He was going to keep disturbing me.
I knew that for a fact now.
He was still looking at me, expecting me to say yes.
I smiled at him and saw the instant beam in his eyes.
“Can I come over?” I asked, licking my lips.
“Yes my dear” he replied, immediately creating room for me by reclining his leather chair and spreading his arms.
I walked up to him, leaned over him and said.
“Go fuck yourself, you perverted old moron”

The next day, I tendered my resignation letter and resumed my job hunting anew.
Somehow. I still blame my backside for all of my troubles.
But, again. God gave me,
Surely He must have a reason for blessing me with such a size?

Thank you for reading.

Owoeye Jesuloba Grace
IG- @oj_grace.

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