1. Should I tell a guy how I feel about him first?
Before I answer the question let me share an experience i had with you, when I was in secondary school I knew next to nothing about how matters of the heart worked I had a big crush on a guy at my lesson center he was my senior, few years later,he finished from secondary school and was in the university and thanks to social media we got each others contact and started talking. Instant messaging wasn’t so much in use at the time so we were texting frequently and calling, of course he didn’t know I had a big crush on him. Fortunately for us MTN did this magic number thing and boy was I excited. Sharp sharp I registered his number and we talked throughout the weekend, I was already having butterflies in my stomach and really looking forward to the next weekend, and so the following weekend we continued talking and on one faithful Sunday after talking for the whole day I was so sure I had fallen head over heels in love with this guy and I just couldn’t keep it to myself and so rounding off our talk for the day I whispered to the phone I love you and then he was like what did you just say, I said nothing and you know how guys are, he kept asking and then I said it louder I LOVE YOU o boy my heart was beating no not beating it was racing at top speed and then he smiled and replied I LOVE YOU TOO DEAR **yaay** (dancing yahozee ) that was the reigning song back then. My stomach was rumbling and I was smiling to myself. Little did I know what was to happen after. I got to school the next day and went to gist my friend. But something changed throughout the week our texting reduced and I didn’t hear from him as often maybe he was busy I thought to myself, I was really looking forward to the next weekend so we could talk non stop but I couldn’t reach him, I became somehow worried and so I remembered he called me with his sister’s number for some time and so I called her then she said he wasn’t around and I left a message for him. He later called me at night and started shouting what is your problem, why did you call my sister and then he said some really mean things, I was tear struck in my mind I was thinking I thought he said he loved me too why is he acting like this, I wasn’t going to take the tongue lashing I might have been a bit naive but I wasn’t a dummy, so I raised my voice and shouted back at him, the whole thing got heated and then we hung up and we didn’t talk for a while. After the episode I had I realized I was only infatuated with the guy because of the fact that we talked a lot, he gave me his attention, and I allowed him to play with my emotions. I started to believe I was in love and when I expressed myself I was humiliated and so right then I decided never to be the first person to tell a guy I loved him even if I really did.. So I think before you express how you feel to a guy (if you really have to) then there are some factors you have to consider:
Are you really sure about how you feel? Hope it isn’t just because you’ve spent a lot of time talking and chatting that you think you have feelings for him, you can try staying away from him for a while just to really see and ascertain the feelings you have, don’t be carried away by what is happening at that point in time
Are you ready for the outcome? The truth is he might not feel the same way about you and he might so consider how you might feel with his response, will you be distraught that he doesn’t feel the same, just prepare your mind for the unexpected so you won’t be taken by surprise
Is he matured enough to handle it? A lot of guys have said they would like it if girls can tell them how they feel. Most times some of these guys are only looking for ways to feed their egos and show off to their friends so be careful, study his nature and be sure he’s a matured guy with enough common sense to tell you he’s not really into you but in such a way that he wouldn’t hurt your feelings or if he actually feels the same way about you.
If you are sure about the above questions then I think you are ready to tell him but if you can put your feelings in check why not wait a little bit longer, there’s no harm in dropping a few hints for him every now and then a sharp guy will pick up on that and know what to do.
2. How do I handle crushes?
My friends know that I am the biggest crusher of all times (smiles). My present celebrity crush is Falz the bad guy, if u help me see him please tell him **smiles** The thing is I can’t help it but things that I’ve come to notice about handling my crushes is these. Most times most of the guys I crush on don’t have a clue about about my crush so my friends and I just laugh and joke about it till it fizzles off and I’m on to the next person. I might be fortunate that my crush is someone that is around me and so I make sure we start talking and I get to know more about them,in the course of getting to know them we become friends and if they are the sensible ones I tell them I used to have a crush on them, I use the word ‘used to’ because at that point I’ve gotten to know them and I realize they are not so much as perfect as I pictured them, in fact some of them are downright not so good in manners, my point is this if u can try to get to know your crush first you’ll either find out how great they are or like me sometimes you ask yourself what did I see in this guy that made me crush on him? Your crush can end up being a great friend, a great boyfriend (I’ve not been that lucky) or someone you can learn a lesson from. Identify that what you have is a crush once that sinks it it makes it easier for the feeling to fizzle out, if you dwell on it too much infatuation or obsession might set in.
3. I love my boyfriend and I shower him with gifts but some of my friends think I’m overdoing it, is there anything wrong as a girl to buy gifts for your boyfriend?
There is absolutely nothing wrong in buying gifts for someone you love, girls need to shy away from this orientation that its only the guy that is supposed to spend, on your birthday he buys you gifts, on your anniversary he gives you presents, on his birthday he takes you out to celebrate with him and he pays for the food, on valentines day he buys you something, on mothers day some girls still expect him to get them something, ‘haba’, and these girls will make a fuss about it if you don’t get them something and then you hear a lot of girls feel offended when guys say they are materialistic. My dear sisters I don’t really blame these guys as they are only drawing conclusions from the experiences they’ve had. Some guys have been in relationships for a year or two and haven’t gotten something from their girlfriends, the ones that have gotten something probably gets a pair of boxers and singlets. We are in the 21st century and a lot of girls are clamoring for gender equity when they cannot even do half of what the guy is doing in a relationship. If you love your boo appreciate him with gifts from time to time, it doesn’t have to be something too elaborate and expensive, its actually the thought that matters, when you go out on dates theres nothing wrong in you paying for the food once in a while from experience if you get your guy a nice present for his birthday when its time for yours he’ll get you something nicer and much more expensive. The only but here is that as a lady cut your coat according to the material you have, if you don’t have much with you then don’t go out of your way to try to get a gift at your own expense. Another thing is that I hope the guy you are buying gifts for is not a miser maybe that’s why your friends think you are overdoing it, don’t be too blinded by love that you keep investing in someone who doesn’t appreciate what you are doing.
If you have views contrary to this or you have one or two experiences to add please share with us and if you have more questions you want us to rub minds on kindly share and we’ll treat them on this platform. Thank you for reading.