Everyone deserves to be loved so they say. The search for that special one starts from puberty and probably ends when you’re miserably or happily married. Only a few are fortunate to end up with their first love but for the larger percentage of the world, pre-marriage relationships are like rehearsals for the big stage. To many they go into relationships with the sole reason of affection but subconsciously they have latent motives they choose to ignore; till they come to the surface. Below are probing questions that will get you the answers.
1. IS IT BECAUSE OF AFFECTION?
I could have written love but I chose to write affection because we humans are almost incapable of loving. Only the almighty God is capable of true, untainted and unwavering love, yet who am I to fault your claim of loving someone?! It is important you ask yourself this question and be certain that your love is not lust that is bound to fade away. I’m totally in support of dating someone because you are attracted to their personality, you really like them or because they’re fun and make such great company. That’s affection for me!!! Then hopefully, it will develop to love. **smiles**
2. IS BEING SINGLE MORE LIKE A DISEASE TO YOU?
To some, being single is synonymous to having cancer, they can’t just help but to be in a relationship. The craving to be loved is just too much to bear that they can’t just stay single. You find them jumping from one relationship to another; without giving themselves time to heal or develop themselves. So ask yourself, are relationships food for your soul? Are you in that relationship because you’re obsessed with the feeling of being loved?
3. ARE YOU IN IT FOR THE SEXUAL INTIMACY
In the western culture, the common trend is to go out on dates, get the first, probably have sex and a relationship follows after. The case is different here in Nigeria. Most people go into relationships because of sexual intimacy. The guy wants to be the only one that is licensed to have sex with the girl; the girl wants to have a reason (the relationship) to continually have sex with a particular guy. One might argue that it reduces promiscuousness, my reply will be; people are still cheating. In the world at large, many relationships are centered on the need for sexual intimacy; individuals want to be the only “legit and licensed sexual partner.” Sex can’t be served 24/7 so have a review of your relationship.
4. ARE YOU IN IT FOR GREENER PASTURES?
I personally don’t think this is a bad idea, as I’m a sucker for ambitious women. No one in their right senses wants a liability. I want to be in a healthy relationship where we can grow together, share common goals and achieve our dreams. The only downside to this is if it is your only motive. So ask yourself are you in only because of their family status or solely because of their wealth?? Dirt never ceases to follow a gold digger.
5. ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING ALONE?
Life is beautiful, yet we know it is difficult as well. The burdens of life are made lighter by the right partner, and the sadness of a day can be changed to a beaming smile by a lover. Yet it is important to love yourself first and be your best companion, because in the end you only have yourself. Search deeply within you and you’ll find the answer to this.
6. ARE YOU INDEBTED TO YOUR PARTNER?
This is common when an individual has done so much for you and you feel the best way to repay the person is to go into a relationship with him/her. So he/she has helped your career, provided for you financial or even saved your life and the only thing he/she wants is your heart (This is why you shouldn’t accept favors that don’t come with pure intentions or come with clauses you can’t fulfill), don’t give in unless you’re sure that you’re not being blackmailed into the relationship. Don’t pity-date! No one can keep up with it.
Ask yourself these questions and you’re certain to discover the answers yourself. Thank me later. Cheers!!