THE YORUBA BOY PHOBIA

BY FOLAHAN M.G. 

 

 

The Yoruba Demon (boys) controversy is one that I feel will stand the test of time and will only continue to come up in different forms. Like an hydra it has different heads and continues to sprout even when addressed. We have now like a plague that must be feared and avoided. There is the Yoruba boy phobia in town! Whatever concrete and obvious evidence the female population have against us ought to be discarded. This is tribalism and prejudice at its peak. It is now obvious that these girls are getting quite aware of some of our tricks, which is quite alarming and painful.

 

I therefore use this medium to summon the valiant warriors from the west. My message to my brothers in arms is this; for us to catch fish that are getting wary of our hook and line techniques, we need to device means of camouflaging to save our sons, so that they don’t pay for our sins.
I know some of you might be as bemused and shocked as I am. Imagine a whole you toasting common Chioma **no pun intended** and she is fronting. “Same Chioma of yesterday ooo”. Forget the fact that you aren’t fine (it’s not your fault don’t worry). I’m certain it’s not because you are broke either. It is because we have ‘cast’.

 

Here are some of the reasons why our cover has been blown

 

 

Moving in Groups:  Yoruba boys are the most unified and in sync tribal group. That’s what most people have failed to recognize. Instead they feel intimidated by our panache and flamboyance. When you get to parties, and you see saintly white flowing ‘agbadas’ and ‘fila(s)’ of matching color, the sisters already know that these are the “heart breakers of the party”. You would literally hear alarm bells ring. They earmark our tables and tag them “tread with caution” and “for the brave only”.
 
Yoruba Boys are fine AF!!!!!!! 

 

(My baby picture, but things didn’t turn out as I had hoped.)
I’m not saying anything here. The stats favor us. I mean just take a look at me.
They Break Hearts For a Living: (Although *In Jimi Agbaje’s voice* I’m not one of them). 
 

 

Her Heart has been broken like 15 times by Kunle alone. Then Jaiye, Wale, Jimoh and Tope. *sad*)
This is the sad truth. I have witnessed quite a handful of breakups. I have seen a handful of heartbroken sisters and each time I try to find out the cause of these problems and I investigate, there is almost always one AY or Kola or Kenny involved. Sometimes when I ask the affected sister, her answers are either that her Yoruba boyfriend has broken up with her or a Yoruba is at the root of the break up.

 

Oduduwa must have been one hell of a playboy, because this issue dates way back. In local parlance “no be today e start”. To prove this, if you have a Yoruba dad, please check his old school pictures. I bet you a million Dasuki Naira, it has “heart breaker” scribbled all over it.

 

 

The Ibadan ones are not helping matters. 

 

 

There is something ladies don’t seem to get. There are two classes of Yoruba boys: The Yoruba boys and Ibadan boys
If you have ever experienced any guy trying to woo a lady and he goes like, “My name is Mutiu Tijani Ninalowo but you can call me MTN for short” he is Ibadan. Or if there has ever been a guy who has tried to take a lady to a surprise romantic getaway, only for him to charter a bike for himself and bae to mount only for them to end up at Teslim Balogun Stadium, Surulere to watch Gateway FC play City Of David, he is Ibadan.  Read: FLIRTING 101: The 10 basics steps of flirting
These are the bad eggs, not Lagos, Ogun, Ondo, Ekiti or Osun boys.
IB boys, please stop spoiling runs for we the good ones.
Yoruba Boys can form Godly.

 

 

Everyone knows that (In my own opinion; thinks) good girls are found in church. Boys from other tribes would just visit the church for the babe they want, they will take her and find their way. But our own, is never like that. We will even go ahead to join the work force so that we can get the best of the best. Although some brothers (like me) have been changed through this process, others like Ore, Femi and TJ remain in this act of deception. “Them no know say them don cast. “

 

Please my brother’s if there was ever a time for us to be united, it is now.
But wait. Who is our leader sef?
Me?  No, I can do secretary or treasurer but not leader of this kind of movement.
Let’s sample some of the popular Yoruba boys we have that can lead us.
Jagaban? No. He is a Heart Breaker
Mike Adenuga? Another Heart Breaker
Fmr. President Obasanjo? “Baba nla” Heart Breaker.
It’s over. No responsible one??
Is there hope for us?
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4 comments

  1. This is a shitty post………so there is pleasure in breaking heart!?….so ladies dont have thier own part….this is tribalism……

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