Most men often tend to grow cold feet whenever they see a beautiful lady that they’re attracted to, but you can’t really blame some of them as they probably had a sheltered childhood, they are naturally shy, grew up amidst male siblings, were fed with the wrong information about the female species or grew up being intimidated by women. So their fear to meet new people or chase after the woman they want makes them end up settling for less or taking whatever comes their way. Here is your guideline to overcoming approach anxiety.
1. Realizing its natural
So you see this beautiful lady next to you, you want her so bad and you really want to meet her, then your mind goes into a nervous state, you become a sorcerer that sees into the future. You picture all the negative outcomes that could transpire if you walked up to her and try starting a conversation. You picture her blowing you off, you picture her slapping you, you picture her making a mockery of you, and concisely you picture an embarrassing rejection. Don’t be dispirited, having such feelings doesn’t make you less of a man, many of us have been there. It is totally natural and the good news is that you can overcome it.
2. Realizing that it is a thing of the mind
The stiffness you feel in your heart and the adhesive beneath your feet were only created by your mind to prevent you from approaching the girl you want. The good thing is that it’s a thing of the mind so you can always change or correct it.
3. Changing your mind frame
To overcome approach anxiety (AA), as it is popularly called. You have to change your mind frame that makes you feel inadequate. You need to be confident and feel good about yourself. Have the mind frame of the prize; knowing that if she turns you down she will be losing out on a great guy.
4. Realizing that women are waiting for you to approach them
In this part of the world, our women are trained to wait for the men. Although civilization, open-mindedness, desperation or probably uncontrollable lust seems to be making some women approach men, yet it is still a common trend for them to wait for you to make the move even when they’re interested.
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5. Always be at your best
Ask me what best way to feel good and confident about one’s self and I will tell you to look good, dress well, display good grooming and maintain proper hygiene. No woman wants a sleaze ball. When you’re well dressed, it spurs up positive feeling and energy in you, thus increasing your confidence and making you feel good about yourself. When you’re at your best, AA reduces by 50%.
6. Radiate positivity
Truly like poles repel and unlike poles attract but the law of magnetism doesn’t apply to human dealings and attitude, no one wants to be associated with someone oozing negative vibes. Knowing that human feelings and attitude could be contagious, women want to be associated with people that emanate positive energy and not with guys that will depress them with their negative vibe. Believe in your value and high self worth.
7. Be a Man and kill the shyness
One thing men must realize is that a timid lady will always have men that will approach her but not much can be said for a timid man who has slimmer chances at achieving a real relationship that he truly deserves and in which he won’t be exploited. So be the man, go for what you want.
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8. Communicate well
Another important thing is that you don’t need to start reciting conversation scripts you’ve memorized in your head, just flow with the conversation, keep good eye contact, communicate with a positive body language, don’t sound too cocky, and don’t come acting like a pervert.
9. Be comfortable with rejection
Like I always say, “Rejection is normal, everybody can’t like you and it’s not your fault that they don’t”. The reality is that the person you want to approach might not even be worth it, you might not even be compatible and she might not be the beauty and brains you deserve. Move on!
You have to kiss many frogs before you kiss the princess. So get out there, meet new people, build your social circle, have fun, exchange ideas and fortunately you might just meet that special someone you truly deserve. Practice this often, be it with someone you are attracted to or someone you’re not attracted to and you will see your social or people skills improve which is beneficial in all works of life.
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Disclaimer: Not everyone you see is approachable; some people could be frustrated, in a hurry to somewhere, unhappy, stressed out or generally in a bad mood. It’s never a good time to approach such people and chances are high that they will be irritable in response to you. So time your approach well and study their body language. Women should also realize that men are egotistic creatures and that it takes a great deal for them to walk up to women, so ladies should be nice, approachable and make their disinterest known in a subtle manner.