By Tory Gastros
What could come of this? This occasion, this preparation, this dedication. I didn’t bring anything along to the table but I took home a filled belly. Drip drop the rain falls. Tick tock the time walks. I had so much procrastination. I’ll go soon, I shouldn’t be here for long, time has gone, people have gone home, why am I still here? I began to ponder at a point if I should go or if I should stay. Then I remembered why I was here in the first place. He said he loved me, he said I was all he got, h said there wasn’t anyone else except me. He had taken advantage of me the first time, i was stuck and had to comply. Fool me once shame on you. It happened again, this time; I let him. I saw him like someone I should open the doors to. I saw him like he won’t bite after all nothing happened the first time. So, I let him. Fool me twice, shame on me. It began to form, I was scared and he wasn’t there. What do I do? Oh dear! This can’t happen. Not at this point, not at the point where I had a lot of women looking up to me. I just can’t let this grow, so i, I killed it. It died even before it began to breathe. Even before I knew what it would look like, even before I held it in my hands. Oh! Pain! It hurts. Not the loss, but the none response. I texted, I called, you ignored. I waited; days passed then you finally spoke to me. Unbelievably I ran back into your arms, I came back to you like a fool I would be known as. You fooled me three times.
“I still love you even though you have stopped, I always keep to my words” you said these words to me and you fooled me well. I was told, I was warned, I was in love. If I had the chance to question myself all over again would I be wrong? Would I be wrong to ask if I was wrong? Am I adding another wrong to my first wrong? What exactly is my first wrong? Was it allowing you take advantage of me or was it falling in love with you? Am I wrong to want to make things right? What things right? My life or being with you. I should be without you, I could be without you, I would be without you but you aren’t even here, what difference does it make? The difference? You’re not here but you haven’t left my mind and now I take you back to the top. That’s why I’m still here, that’s why I’m still here having my supposed fun. There were laughs and then a bit of you crossed my mind. Drip, drip, drip, the rain dropped. Whistle, whistle, whistle the cold air blew. And whoosh! Came down that cold pours on me. All over me came the rain. It was then I began to notice you have held me down all these while, because of you I couldn’t be myself because if I got the fame, I would forget your name, I would become the one who never came, what we shared has gone lame, even though we tried; it won’t be the same, you’re like a wild cat; very hard to tame, now I realized all these things, honey; we can both play the game. Oh! It didn’t stop here; I got drenched, soaked and washed. As I slept in a stranger’s bed, I felt at home rather than being a john doe in Rome.
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