Valentine’s Day Is Coming – Here’s How To Own The Bedroom Part Of It

Everyone wants to give a Valentine’s Day gift that counts. Something your significant other always wanted, but couldn’t ask for, a gift that will put a permanent smile on their face and give us the satisfaction of a job well done.

Sure it’s a big holiday for jewellery, clothing and perfume, but why not give a gift that keeps on giving)? That’s right: multiple orgasms. After all, when was the last time a woman cried out “Oh God, YES!” when receiving a Topshop voucher? Exactly.
To get there by mid-February, you’ve got to think outside the sheets, because there’s more to blowing your partner’s mind than 15 minutes of focused thrusting or tongue-waggling. In fact, what comes before and after sex itself can be just as important to her overall pleasure and satisfaction.
So from start to finish, here are the seven things she really wants in the bedroom this Valentine’s Day…

Before Sex

1. Romance

We’re all aware of what men’s largest sex organ is (and what really turns it on), but women are wired a bit differently. For them, arousal starts in their minds and slowly makes its way down to their lady parts. If you want to wow your partner, don’t just throw her on your unmade bed and mount her (at least not always) – set the scene.
Light up some candles to frame the room in a soft glow. If there’s an album or genre of music you know she loves, have it playing softly in the background. And nothing beats her favourite flowers with petals scattered on the bed for your DIY decorations. Once the mood is set, it’s time to start getting her in the mood. A sensual massage is a great tool to relieve any residual tension and get you both focused on her body, especially when you bring massage candles into play. Once her body and her mind are relaxed, she’ll be more than primed for what comes next.

2. Teasing

Few things are more erotic than the sizzling sense of anticipation that comes from delayed sexual gratification – or the amazing climax it creates. Start your teasing session by slowly peeling off your partner’s clothes. Plant small, soft kisses across her ears, eyes and neck, eventually moving in for a deep, passionate kiss, while your hands roam across every inch of her body. Let your hands linger over those often overlooked erogenous zones (like the small of her back, her inner thighs, her collarbone), avoiding the major ones for now.
Keep in mind that the sexiest teases draw on all the senses, so by removing one, like vision, you send the others into overdrive. A simple blindfold can really turn up the sizzle on a regular foreplay routine, especially when you introduce kinky items with contrasting textures, like feathers, ice cubes, hot oil or a silk tie. Exploring new sensations will tantalise your partner, and have her aching for every touch, kiss and caress.

During Sex

3. Dirty Talk

Do you know the brain is the largest female sex organ? Well, dirty talk, when your words are carefully chosen, is one of the best ways to stroke  that big sexy brain of hers. For many women, words are aphrodisiacs, especially those that affirm how sexy and desirable you find her. I’m not saying you need to launch into full 900-number mode, but there are many subtle things you can say during sex that will really drive your partner wild.
Start by telling her how hot she is, how she makes you feel, and, of course, what you want to do to her. There’s no need to feel shy or nervous; just whisper in her ear, painting a verbal picture of all the ways you’d like to please her. This has the bonus of working both physically and mentally: your breath on her ears combined with your words will make her crazy.

4. Slow & Sensual Sex

Here’s a little tidbit: Women require about 15 to 20 minutes of concentrated stimulation to reach orgasm, while men can get there in only five or six. Though it may come as no surprise to you, this leaves a lot to be desired in the pleasure department. So how do you make sure your lady gets a fair shot at finishing strong?
For you, slowing down your movements is the secret to lasting longer, resulting in a more powerful orgasm for her. Forget the jackhammer and get going slowly. This way your partner has more time to find their sweet spot and catch up to you.

You should already be providing your partner with a steady flow of orgasms, but since you’re serving her up something special this particular night, why settle for just one? Women can experience four different types, including clitoral, vaginal/G-spot, blended and multiple, so why not spoil your partner by helping her knock out as many as possible in one evening? And if you really want to go for all the Os, you may need to bring in some reinforcements…
Though sex toys have become more popular in the bedroom over the last few years, many men still feel intimidated by their partner’s collection. However, using toys together takes the pressure off you by providing her with additional stimulation, while allowing you to conserve energy and maybe even learn a thing or two. Everybody wins.
The fact is, the majority of women require some form of clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, and have trouble getting there through intercourse alone. That’s why sex toys are so handy for couples – they take the pressure off you by providing her with additional stimulation. You can use a small (but powerful) vibrator like the Je Joue Mimi to stimulate her clitoris during spooning or doggy-style positions. This adorable egg-shaped vibe fits right in the palm of your hand and can help her climax more easily, paving the way for even more orgasms! If you feel like exploring new sensations together, the Rave by We-Vibe can help you both discover (and pleasure) her g-spot. Anything is possible, as long as you have the right tools.

After Sex

6. Aftercare

The moments right after climax can be uncomfortable for any woman. Yes, your partner may be feeling the glow of the multiple orgasms you provided, but there are a few things that every lady needs before she can truly bask in that post-orgasmic bliss: She needs to clean up, she needs to use the restroom and she could probably use a drink of water. Resist the instinct to roll over and go to sleep, and instead fetch your partner a beverage, a towel and a comfy shirt to throw on. These few gentlemanly actions can help ease the transition for her and make her feel more comfortable.
Once your lover is refreshed, offer to take a long, hot soak together – bonus points if you throw in her favourite bubble bath and a sturdy loofah. This is also a great time to bust out the chocolates, as nothing makes a girl happier than a post-coital snack. In a way, foreplay starts after the last orgasm, so don’t rest on your laurels when the lovemaking ends.

7. Communication

Now that the dirty and sweaty part of the evening has passed, it’s time to get emotionally intimate with your partner. Sex releases hormones that make you feel good all over, which makes those moments after sex the best time to let her know how spectacular you think she is. Share feelings and reminisce, or simply hold her close and whisper sweet nothings into her ear.
If it’s too early in the relationship for the mushy stuff, you can always open up about your sexual desires. What were your most memorable sexy moments? What did you do that she really liked? Talk about things you’d like to try in the future and discuss your fantasies. Continuing the care and attention you paid her during the act helps her feel valued and enhance your intimacy and connection. And it might get her in the mood for round two.
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