LOVE UNREQUITED


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There was a jealousy I felt whenever I saw her with the other guys. I do not know why and I just couldn’t get her out of my mind….

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Weeks before now I made up my mind not to let any emotions into my heart. I have been hurt and betrayed especially by the ladies I happen to be love struck with. Khalid told me I had bad luck with the opposite sex but that wasn’t really so. You won’t just understand. 
I remember the day I saw Tara walking through the hall way. As I watched her go, I knew my opportunity to talk to her had slipped through my fingers. I recalled the nights I fantasied about talking to her and what I would say when I finally approached her. Suddenly, I noticed she was walking back. She walked back straight at me. For a split second, my heart ripped through my well ironed starched shirt. Looking at her, I felt a magnetic pull. It was lustful. So strong I didn’t hear her ask me a question.

‘I am sorry…’ were the first words that blurted out of my mouth.

‘I said, do you know where I could quickly make a photocopy of the assignment?’’

‘Thanks’ she smiled at me and left.

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I found lecture uninteresting that afternoon I saw Tara. All I could see was her face. Whenever I recall the way she approached me earlier that afternoon, I felt blood rush to my groins. The curvature of her hips and the bouncy nature of the lumps on her chest, the way she moved accentuated these elements.
At night I stayed up in my bed after waking to find out how steeled I have become. Tara was in my dreams making me rage with lustful desires. This time, she smiled and moved seductively to me as if to say something I couldn’t decipher. I sat on my bed took out my glasses to read but I wasn’t comfortable either.
The next morning was great. I had successfully written my test and secretly found out Tara’s schedule for the day. I was beginning to develop an interest for this girl. I was back in my hostel with my guys who were chatting and so I decided to cut in. I wasn’t feeling the mood until suddenly I popped the question about Tara.
‘Oh boy!…na Franks babe na’’
My head was spinning. She had a guy. Along the line I heard she had other guys too so it was hard to tell who she really belonged to.
‘If only I could make her mine…’ 
That thought was the beginning of my troubles. That was the starting point of my desperation. I tried hard to please Tara. She never said she really loved neither did she say she didn’t want me. Whenever I got her something of satisfaction, we always had a passionate night during the weekend. I could swear to the gods I loved Tara and would die for her, literally saying now.

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I fell sick one time hoping that Tara did care for me. I thought she was different. I thought that she at least had a human heart she could text or call or even see me. But no, none of it ever happened. My friends especially my roommates made jest of me that I was dating a ghost. 
I decided that she wasn’t meant for me in any way. I wasn’t her worth. Going through all of that because of one girl, ‘kilode?!!’ I couldn’t keep up anymore. The spending, my GPA, my social life was all depleting.
I was over Tara in a month. I can’t lie that I missed those times I actually felt something for her. Tara always had a way with guys. She made guys sick and mad with love and lust. I guess we were just never meant to be I tried so hard and pushed so much. Well, all I have to do now is focus on graduating and getting a mean-time job that pays well and also, refunding all the debts I owed during my craze for Tara.

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