AVOIDING THE DREADFUL FRIENDZONE PIT



Only the dead can tell the tales of the abyss. Likewise, only the fallen can tell the tales of the gloomy atmosphere beneath the pit. A pit that reeks of unrequited love and hurt decorated with the remains of broken hearts. Many have been there and still, many will soon be deported there.
At one point or the other in our lives, we’ve all heard the phrase that is most dreaded by the hearts that long for love. A phrase that is as sharp as the apex of an arrow, leaving a huge void when it pierces the heart.
“We’ve been friends for so long and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize our relationship so let’s just be friends”.
Though this saying might come in different versions or rendered differently, it doesn’t in the least reduce its heart breaking effect when said. It’s always disheartening. Wallowing in the friend-zone is synonymous to having a front row seat at the premiere of a highly rated movie by your favorite actress and it happens to be that you’re blind.
Below are practical tips to avoid this dreadful deep pit.

AIM FOR A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION
Good, first impressions matter they say, most people (particularly women) judge you at first sight. Appraising your value within the first few minutes of interaction and making their decisions. She thinks this way; “hmmm, he looks nice and seems friendly. He will make a good partner or mate.” Or better still, “wow, he’s so cute/hot and quite interesting. Definitely my type, I will like to go out with him.” Or worse “he’s shabby looking and of an uncouth behavior. I best aoid him.” All these outcomes could play in her head, but worry not; even an impaired first impression could be corrected with a powerful comeback. As it is said, a book should not be judged by its cover and even the man that makes a good first impression still poses the harm of throwing a spanner in the works.
MAKE YOUR INTENTIONS KNOWN EARLY
As it is written, different strokes for different folks. But often more than normal, it’s generally better to make your emotional approach and propositions tactically early. Being friends at first is not so bad unless you drag it too long and be coy about the real intentions of your heart. When you’re friends for too long, changing their perception of you to a romantically related one becomes difficult and eventually it’s likely you get stuck with just being friends. So be sure to progress from subtle to strong indications of your feelings, because it’s better to make a bad decision than no decision at all.
BE A PERSON OF SELF-WORTH
Like the saying goes, “nice guys finish last.” A nice lady or guy (excluding the men that genuinely want to be friends) in that context simply means a man or lady that thinks not so highly of herself or himself and feels he has to compliment his way up to the partner’s heart. Probably he or she run lots of errands for the presumed lover and has no nerve to decline requests or say NO. It is always a YES to virtually every request. All in all, a “nice guy or girl” doesn’t understand how attractions work. These are individuals who not by choice find themselves in this pit due to their ill social predisposition of you having to be best of friends with the lady or guy you desire before suggesting or attempting intimacy. So, as a guy, Man up, express your ego and stop kissing up to women because even they don’t find it attractive. For the ladies, letting the men chase you makes it more daring. Do not be bent on pleasing him excessively.

BE AN ARCHITECT OF TENSION, CHEMISTRY & COMMUNICATE SEXUALITY
You can’t help but to notice the Chemistry and Sexual Tension between a happy and romantically involved couple. So it becomes important to plant the seeds early in your interaction. Here is where your confidence, sense of humour and creativity comes in. Create inside jokes, spark attraction with sarcasm, and verbally admire your partner’s features. For the guys, touch her subtly to make her comfortable with you, find common grounds and introduce sexual innuendoes in your conversations.  All these build connections and foster relationships.

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CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN
Be more concerned with what happens at your end. As long as you’ve given it your all (well groomed, interesting personality, created spark of attraction), you need not worry about what happens eventually. You shouldn’t let delay or rejection make you feel like you’re not good enough. You should learn that “Rejection is normal, everybody can’t like you and it’s not their fault, they just don’t”. One thing we should all know is that even if your Dominoes fall into the right places, the final decision still rests on your partner’s shoulders.
It is not to say men don’t friend-zone women (quite rare), but due to the obvious fact that women don’t function the way men do; who are mostly indifferent and wouldn’t mind to do the naughty with a close female friend as long as she’s willing and they’re attracted. Whereas to women, their perception of their close male friends is that of a man with no genitals, so best avoid this and take those tips seriously. 
The friend-zone pit is vast and bottomless and takes a miracle coupled with different irregularities to get out of it; people that do are the extremely rare exceptions. So best avoid being miserable and avoid this pit.
Cheers!

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