The Pains of An Enslaved Lover (Part 1)

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So I let loneliness drive me back into the arms I once pledged to ignore, I let the situation dictate my emotions. I was bitter and very angry, lost; but not in my thoughts. I was lost in depression and my emotions betrayed me.

I didn’t fight it and i didn’t even try to overcome the excruciating pain I felt in my heart, instead I changed. I used to be reserved, I  believed in LOVE. I was like a lotus flower; always beautiful even in pain or dirt until I met him.
It was beautiful, it was nothing like magic for magic was an understatement of what we shared. It was supposed to be eternal but didn’t stand the test of time. I feared that this day might come and it did came. We allowed pride destroy us. Pride sponsored by quarrels and series of little arguments; hurting each other with our words and we didn’t bother to say SORRY.

We drifted apart and slowly it began to fade away. I thought it was meant to be and even if it was, we destroyed it!
Now, I couldn’t deal with the pain or anything that came along with it.
Unconsciously, I began to see the world through the eyes of someone seeking revenge. I became flirty and used people to complete any task I had without a hint of appreciation. Yet I dropped them like an empty can. I was already too far gone before I even realized all I was doing, I felt bad.
I cried and this time I cried out my pain, I cried out the hurt I have been feeling but it never changed.
I wouldn’t stop flirting, getting angry unnecessarily and belittling myself. The more I tried to fight it the more the force behind it. So I became weak, drained and lonely and I went back to his arms.
This time, I thought it was love but it wasn’t. It was loneliness cut deep like a wound that made me go back into the arms I  pledged to ignore. I was becoming a slave to my emotions, I was sinking and I was sinking fast.

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