Through time immemorial “bad boys” are known to leave a trail of teary-eyed women with broken hearts behind them. Yet, ladies tend to flock around them. I used to be a nice guy way back; we virtually make up the 80% of the male population. I learned rather quickly that being that nice guy in my dealings with women was never the best of decisions. As the saying goes, “Nice guys finish last”
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You see, I never saw being nice as a decision that needed to be made; I understood it as a state that naturally existed. I didn’t feel that I should go out of my way to be nice because I liked being nice. More than that, I thought thatwas what women wanted: “men who were nice”. I was wrong.
As this is not a law but an analysis on the behavioral pattern of women, though which has been found to be largely true. There are still some women who want the nice guys because they understand that being nice means good and vice versa. However, most women seem to have the concepts confused.
They may believe they want a nice guy, but in reality, they don’t want a nice guy. In their eyes, nice is equivalent to weakness, boredom, and routine. The womenwant excitement. They want mystery, surprise, drama. They want a bad boy.
Why Do Girls Like Bad Boys?
Attraction to the ambience of mystery
It’s natural human nature to have preference for things that are rare and unique. This is also applicable to “bad guys” who are often the object of attraction of women. Unlike the nice guys, who kiss up to women, get intimidated by them, over-compliment them and come by as every regular guy in the quest for a damsel. “Bad guys” aren’t very open; they’re creatures of pride and unpredictability, keeping mostly to themselves which is quite mysterious.
Crave for a challenge out of the norms
First off, women are dramatic creatures. Monotony kills vibe. I think every guy who ever started out as a good guy got slapped down, more times than they would have liked. Every guy at one point was silly enough to think that being nice to the woman he has feelings for is a good idea. He would go out of his way to be nice. He would help her with simple tasks. He would smile and be courteous. If he took her on a date then he might have even bought her flowers, paid for her meal, paid for her drinks, paid for the cab. But only until he realized that the girl had absolutely no interest in him. She liked the free food and drinks, but not the guy who was paying for them. Well this was boring all along. The ladies want a guy that would boss them around from time to time. Who else cam do it better than the guy who has the streak of toughness in him with a touch of romance.
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The amusement of Conflicting intrigue
They distance themselves and give the cold shoulder whenever they don’t want something from you; it makes her go crazy; why doesn’t he want her? Why isn’t she good enough? If he just got to know her better, he would surely fall for her. But the truth is that he wouldn’t. Not because she’s not lovable but because he isn’t a love disher. He isn’t looking for love because those who look for love quickly lose the whole bad boy flair.
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Appeal of the Out of Reach Personality (ORP)
The essential traits of a bad boy are isolation, confidence, carelessness, self-indulgence, selfishness and attitude. When you put it this way, it’s difficult to understand why it is that women go for these kinds of guys rather for the guys that offer their all with all sincerity. However, the role the actions that result from such personality traits play on the psyches of women is undeniable. These traits create sexual tensions they can’t but get attracted to.
The Alpha male preference instinct
Women tend to have the ability to pick up the scent or aura of an alpha male. This is only natural. Bad boys seem more manly; which is an awful way to think as it teaches guys that being bad is more rewarding than being good(I think so too). If being a bad boy gets you laid while being a nice guy gets you either ignored or abused, then guess which type most men choose to be. Since women see nice guys as being weaker than those who flaunt their “strength”, if you can call it that, they feel that it’s okay to use them and then leave them hanging.
Periodic maturity for the preference of men
Virtually all women are wired this way, but with time, experiences, priorities and age factor, their attraction for bad boys dwindles. I believe nearly all women go through their bad boy phase, some earlier on, some much later. What it ends up being is a lesson learned. No woman has ever lived happily ever after with a complete bad boy. Why? Because once bad boys settle down, they are no longer bad boys –they’re nice guys. You need a nice guy to settle down with because that’s the only kind of guy who is willing to actually settle down. So the truth is, ladies, that you don’t want a bad boy. You want to turn a bad boy into a nice guy. You want to change that reckless, untamed man and you want to put a collar on him. You like the challenge and you want to tame a beast because it makes you feel strong and makes you feel good about yourself. Little do you know that you can’t change a man unless he wants to be changed or probably by divine intervention.
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In conclusion, maybe it’s that the women who go after these bad boys don’t actually want a relationship. They just want to enjoy the thrill of the chase. A pseudo-relationship that is flashier than anything else. Relationships require a great storyline, with lots of drama and the constant possibility of loss, like in the movies. Maybe we should put the blame on Hollywood. In truth you can’t blame them all. Nice guys should also learn that the reasonable and general way of courting women doesn’t always create the spark for them. They should learn to spice things up and create sexual attraction. With time, all women come back from the dark side. They learn firsthand that bad guys are bad for them.